Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

The sadness was still there.

Be who you already are.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

WBD Shareholders Nix David Zaslav’s 2024 Pay Package In Non-Binding Vote - Deadline

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

I was tired of trying and failing.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Anxious-depressed individuals underestimate themselves even when they’re right - PsyPost

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

And the sadness?

Craig Breslow Discusses Red Sox’ Struggles, Future Plans - MLB Trade Rumors

It’s still here.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

I had run out of hope.

Airlines Scrubbed Cheap Fares After Getting Caught Charging Solo Travelers More—But Prices Won’t Stay High - View from the Wing

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

I was tired of fighting.

Can you show pictures of your penis, big or small?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

It’s here now, writing to you.

What are the main issues that have historically and currently divided Republicans and Democrats?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Were the 1980s as uptight and prudish as movies and TV shows make them out to be? When I think of 80s culture, I think about a very "icky" judgmental yuppie status quo time period.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

You are like me, then.

What is the typical mentality of the Indian society?

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Outer Worlds 2 Is Xbox's First $80 Video Game - Kotaku

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.